vital node: brent schulkin's blog

New Year Update

Humdrum news items from my past few weeks....

Ear of the Tiger

Hey, remember when blogs were first invented everyone thought they were filled with mundane, inconsequential ramblings that lacked any sort of broad social value? And remember how conventional wisdom went that if you spent a lot of time reading blogs, you were probably wasting your time? Those were the days. Bloggers have come a long way, but this post will take you back. The following video is 10 minutes long, and completely self-indulgent. You're probably going to watch it anyway, so thanks for that. But really, it's 10 minutes long. Keep your receipt.

Over Thanksgiving break, my girlfriend Noor and I strongly disagreed about a question which we believed had a straight-forward answer. We made a bet to raise the stakes. Then we found the answer, but neither of us would concede defeat. Later, after the feast, we pulled together a jury of nine, and each pleaded our case. After several gripping moments of drama, the jury could not reach a verdict. The stakes are high, and we must put this to rest. So, dear reader, we ask you to weigh in on this gravely important decision with a vote and perhaps an explanatory comment on this post. With your help we can finally establish justice and ensure domestic tranquility. Listen closely:

(read the comments below before you vote...)

I Forgot What My Question Was Going To Be

My Election 2008 Adventures

Soooooo, here's my post-election post. Maybe this means I can finally do some non-political posts. It started 21 months ago when I naively and impractically all-but-endorsed Obama for president. Lately all I've been posting is my political donation strategy, my endorsements, and so on. From Halloween through the day after the election Noor and I went to Las Vegas and helped Obama absolutely crush McCain in Nevada. We walked the dusty streets for days, getting out the vote. Along the way we partied huge. I've posted photos from that adventure here. For the full story, follow me after the jump....

2008 General Election: How I'm Voting

This blog has lost track of my life! I have neglected to post any updates about Virgance...I haven't posted about how much I'm learning, how fast I'm learning, and that our team now numbers in the double digits, and that we hit the NYT, that we're looking to hire more software engineers, or any of that. Right now I've temporarily deprioritized everything in my life that is not closely tied to Virgance, with the one exception of politics. Thus the blog posts only appear when politics demands that they appear.

I do not have time to deeply research everything I'm voting for this time around, nor can I write a long explanation for everything. For most things I won't explain my vote, or how confident I am in it. If I write something it means I definitely have a strong opinion. Just because I don't write something doesn't mean I don't have a strong opinion. If I put one asterisk next to something it means this: if you disagree with me you should seriously reconsider...you may think you're a maverick, but you're wrong. If I put two asterisks next to something it means this: if you disagree with me then you might as well get eaten by a crocodile because you are as sharp as a sack full of wet mice, your so-called "values" make you a horrible person, and you represent everything that is wrong with the world. If I put a question mark next to something it means that I am feeling particularly unsure about that thing, and I need you to school me on it in the next couple days before I go vote.

My endorsements are SF-focused. I haven't found anyone who agrees with me on everything, but my favorite sources to check with include the SF Bay Guardian, the official party recommendations from the Dems and Greens, The Women's Foundation of CA (written by my friend Amanda)...SPUR has some great info although I disagree with lots of their picks. I find the SF Chronicle to be pretty worthless. Here are my picks:

New Plan: No More Money For Obama

(POST UPDATED: See comments for details...)

A heretical, terrifying statement, I know, but hear me out.

So, things are going well with my new company (we're hiring). We have some money in the bank. This changes things for me. It will probably still be a couple months before I decide to cut myself a paycheck, but I now know that a paycheck is coming. With that knowledge there is little time to waste. The election is only weeks away. It is a critical time. It is a special year. It is a once-in-a-generation year. It is the type of year that can change everything. The results of this election must change everything for good, or else the results of this election will change everything, for worse, forever.

I like to imagine that as an older, financially well-established man I will one day have a prudent system for determining what causes I give financial support to. I don't have that sort of "giving plan" yet. But I believe that political contributions this year may be far more powerful than during your typical year in the future. Polls show that nearly anything is possible this year. Mississippi. Idaho. Alaska. North Dakota. Places like this are on the table right now. If we can unseat the people representing those areas this year, then I think we can steer away from the cliff. If we do it after their next term, Miami might end up underwater, and so on and so forth. That's how I'm looking at things. So I may be a speculator, but there is a bull market for hope right now and I am in this to win it, and I HAVE to invest this year, because this year counts more than other years.

Outside Lands Photos

I'm a week late on this, but here are some photos from the Outside Lands music fest: Slideshow or Gallery

Joe Biden, Karma Police

Biden. I approve. I think it's a wise choice. I think it's a good strategic pick. I think it will be fun to watch him tear people apart, and I enjoy his personality. I think he has a pretty good policy record. I'm ready to start repping Joe in a minute here, but first I must forgive him for two enormous sins. First, he voted to authorize the Iraq invasion. Idiot. And secondly, Joe Biden was the sponsor and driving force behind the RAVE Act of 2003, later renamed the Illicit Drug Anti-Proliferation Act. Ostensibly, this was a law about cracking down on ecstasy use at raves, but twas not so simple. Like most "tough on crime" laws, it makes no sense, and essentially encourages discrimination. So poorly written was this law, that the following is now true: I went to a concert last night at Golden Gate Park, with Radiohead and many others. The organizers searched everyone's bags as people went onto the grounds. Yet SOMEHOW, despite the best efforts of the organizers, I saw someone smoking marijuana last night. I couldn't believe my eyes when I first saw it...at first I was paralyzed with fear as I realized that if any of the deadly smoke from this burning satan weed touched my skin I would be a strung-out meth addict by sunrise. But as I echoed Radiohead, singing out with passion, "Karma police, arrest this man!" I suddenly remembered the wisdom of Joe Biden, because he knew what the rest of us didn't know: the company that put on this entire festival should be prosecuted for violating federal drug law. Yes. Even if they made a good faith attempt to search everyone who came in for drugs, the fact that even one concert goer, out of the untold thousands of San Franciscans teeming through Golden Gate freaking Park, was able to evade security and have one puff of marijuana, this is undeniable PROOF that the company that planned this concert acted criminally. If there's one threat that we face in this world, it's concert promoters. Thanks Joe Biden!

Thank you for writing a law that allows an old woman who owns a motel in Utah to be a drug criminal if someone smokes pot in her motel. Thanks for writing a law that creates ridiculous expectations of anyone who hosts local events, whether it's a local tavern, a political rally, a theatrical production.... Thanks for writing a law that initially suggested that prosecutors view the sale of water and the presence of glowsticks as "evidence" of drug use. Thanks for allowing the military to use drugs as a pretext to close down gay nightclubs. Thanks for allowing any prosecutor to decide to enforce this law disproportionately against African Americans and Latinos if you don't approve of their "hip hop" or "rock and roll" or "attitude". And thanks most of all for pushing this bill through Congress without a single public hearing, debate, or vote...thanks for passing it all by your damn self by attaching it to the AMBER alert bill so it was guaranteed to get approved.

That was everything that's wrong with politics, and you are a fool for making that bill your baby. I forgive you, but you better make it up to me. Now let's all get into the big tent and make some big moves. Yes we can!

Sorry I Helped Those Terrorists

British authorities have now started seizing board games as part of their brave and gallant global effort to capture Osama. Now that I know how incredibly vital it is that the authorities know as much as possible about this game, it is my patriotic duty to write this post in order to prevent the next in the horrific series of board-game-based terrorist attacks that have been devastating our way of life in recent months.

There is a game called "War On Terror: The Boardgame". My confession to you is that I thought it was a funny idea. Once, before the British police clued me in to the danger. What a fool I was. On a Sunday in May 2007 I met Andy and Tom, two of the creators of this devilish deception. They were visiting from England and I sat with them and my friend Michelle, on the Sky Terrace at Medjool, playing the game for hours and allowing them to brainwash me.

They were really good at the game, and they taught me everything there is to know. I am now a threat to you and your family. It would be hilarious (if it wasn't so grave) that during a heated oil war between my empire and Tom's empire (in southeast asia, each trying to "liberate" the other), we actually had to refer to the instructions to remember what their final decision had been on a certain rule. No one thinks that terrorists follow rules, but oh yes, I'm afraid they do. As a result of their sinister tactics I am now in possession of my very own first edition set of the game. I hereby apologize for ever thinking that this game was the funniest satirical bulls-eye of a board game I had ever seen. I urge the CIA and Scotland Yard to get in touch with me IMMEDIATELY because I am in possession of a handwritten note from these two menacing figures, thanking me for letting them crash at my house. I know I'm going to end up in Guantanamo shortly, I just hope that we can analyze their handwriting and stop these monsters BEFORE THEY KILL AGAIN!!!

Jon Stewart on Energy

Man he's good. Anyway, screw drilling. How bout 350 billion for 350 ppm? Mmm?

First ever mobile post

So I had to buy a new phone to replace my old work phone. Got an iPhone without getting all obsessed beforehand. But this thing is awesome. I've added a bunch of apps to play with, including the Typepad app, so this is me attempting to blog from my phone. All typing, formatting, and photos in this post are things that originated with my phone. Although I added some pix I imagine they will end up looking rather inelegant. Much like the word "pix" is an inelegant word choice meant to get me through this tedious touchscreen typing process more quickly. So now I shall tell you an iPhone-centric tale of my recent vacation last weds-sat.

Every summer (25 years running...) my fam goes to Twain Harte, a cool little town in the Sierras. I would add a link if I knew how to add links. Basically Twain Harte exists for doing nothing, chilling at a lake, drinking gin and tonics, and playing mini golf. I love how the tiny keyboard makes me cut to the chase. So it was helpful to use certain apps on the iPhone, such as Maps, Twitterific, Mail, Safari, and even Yelp. But iPhone really saved the day on Thursday night. A big crew of us went to see a local production of South Pacific at the old Fallon Theater in Columbia. It was a fun throwback in every way. ("Bali Haaaaiiiiii!!!) Driving back on winding highway we come across a nasty accident (there should be a picture somewhere in this post). One other passerby had called the ambulances, and my dad the ER doc and aunt the nurse hopped out of the car to start taking care of the 4 people (including a very old couple) who had been in the car when some liquid got spilled and the driver drifted into a big cement block just off the road. How could I be most useful in this emergency situation? I'll tell you. The wreck was just around a bend on a highway where people drive fast. I sprinted up the highway, gingerly pulling my iPhone out of my utility belt, and flipped to the "myLite" app. It turns your phone screen into a bright flashlight, but you can also make it change colors and flash. The idea is that this is good for raves or parties or something. But I turned my phone into a flashing red strobe and stood out in the highway waving down speeding drivers and then leaping off onto the brush-covered shoulder as they slowed down to safely pass the wreck around the corner. Then all these flares showed up, firetrucks, medics, and we were on our way. Looks like no one had life-threatening injuries....THANKS TO MY IPHONE! OK, my finger is getting tired of typing, so I will wrap this up. Just one more note on blogging with the Typepad app: I had typed this entire thing up for like 20 minutes, and then I got a phone call. Lost the whole post. No auto-save feature, everything just disappears if someone calls you. So I'm actually re-typing this on my regular computer, from memory. You know that's true because I just italicized actually. Couldn't do that on an iPhone, could I? So don't expect to see too many mobile posts in the future. Maybe I'll start just posting photos though...just not so much typing....

Where She Was On Monday

My friend Adrian's band has a new video which I find hilarious (profanity warning):

I'm going to buy one just for the tote bag....

Woodfox

I'm very excited to hear this morning that Albert Woodfox of the Angola 3 has had his conviction overturned! According to CNN:

A federal judge on Tuesday overturned the conviction of a former Black Panther in the 1972 stabbing death of a Louisiana prison guard.
Albert Woodfox, who was held in solitary confinement for over 30 years, is one of three former Panthers known as the "Angola Three." He and two other black prisoners at the Louisiana State Penitentiary at Angola were convicted in the killing of guard Brent Miller on April 17, 1972.
U.S. District Judge James Brady issued a ruling late Tuesday approving a federal magistrate's June recommendation that Woodfox's conviction be overturned....
Woodfox's decades in solitary confinement attracted worldwide attention from activists who called him a political prisoner.

Hott. I haven't studied up on the specifics of his case, but I know enough to know that this is a day for celebration. I had the opportunity to spend some time with Robert King, another one of the Angola 3, when he was freed a few years ago. I was so impressed with him, and the vibe that I got from him...I guess I would describe it as a "loving" vibe. I don't know how his experience leads to a vibe like that, but I hope that Woodfox can find something similar. Next up, Herman, Mumia, Leonard, etc. The issue isn't "who did what". The issue is, "why does it take our justice system 36 years to fairly determine who did what?"

The Mothership Connection

Your name is "Tickles the Tapeworm", and you were my first ever laptop. I gained custody of you very early in my career at The Go Game. I feel like you have been an enormous part of my life for the past couple years, Tickles. All those long flights with no other company but you, my heavy, overheating, dim-screened, well-worn grey electronic brain. You have channeled all my thoughts, typed thousands of emails, overseen the Go Games of 150 or so different companies around the world, and helped the Carrotmob idea blossom from nothing to something. Here's the thing, Tickles...now that I've left TGG, you have to go home to your real parents. This is the last blog post we'll ever type together. I'm going to miss our adventures. I'll never forget all the extra batteries that I have to keep in my backpack for you...the way it takes you 5 minutes to wake up after I put you on standby...the way you burn my legs...the way I don't know what year you were manufactured since the info is all rubbed off...the way the fan is kind of broken...the way you weigh 50 pounds...the way you always seem baffled whenever I do 2 things at once...the way the sound just goes out once in a while...the way I haven't had a working CD drive in a year or so. These are the ties that bind us together, Tickles. Forever. You have done a very good job, and for that I thank you. May you stay forever young. Now run along, there's a new sheriff in town:

Hello you sexy beast. You have been sitting unopened in a box in my room for 100 hours, and that ends tonight. From today on, this blog rides the lightning. Fasten your seatbelts, children. The mothership is here. Look sharp.

Milbank, South Dakota

A week ago I was at Evan and Erin's wedding. Sorry for choosing this photo with your eyes closed Erin...it'll do for now... We flew to Minneapolis, and then drove for 4 hours (me, Noor, Maya and Andrew) through rural Minnesota (and by that I mean a series of Super Target parking lots interspersed with beautiful open plains). We arrived in Milbank and went directly to Top Hat Lanes, a bowling alley that is usually closed during the summer but was specially opened for the occasion of a local girl getting married. I broke a new record for me, bowling a 119. We visited, listened to AC/DC, and drank White Russians. We stayed in a rustic cabin at a resort/park on Big Stone Lake. The next morning we slept in, and walked 50 feet to a diner where I enjoyed a delicacy that I had never before tasted: Freedom Toast. No, I didn't start a conversation with the proprietor about it. We played pickup volleyball. We went tubing on the lake. We took naps. We headed into town for some incredible BBQ in this barn-esque restaurant. They had a custom-made lager with little "Erin and Evan" labels. Awesome. Walked to this other lake for a town-wide party and fireworks show. Later we went to a bar in Milbank called Speedway. Live country band. They played some hits, a little Johnny Cash etc, but they really should have played that classic song by Powerman 5000, "This is what it's like when worlds collide". I mention that song just to bait Chris to make a comment. Next day, hearty brunch, accompanied the ladies to a coffee shop that didn't have soy milk. Watched people buy cute little jars of preserves. Preparing for wedding. Raining. Windy. Like a black fly in your chardonnay. Don't you think. Couldn't do ceremony in beautiful outside spot, but backup location was the Dairy Institute, essentially a "cow college" that was way classier than it sounds. Ceremony was sweet. Dinner. Toasts. Cupcakes. Dancing. Wine. Great success. Brunch the next morning at Erin's family's house on the lake, totally beautiful. Then back to catch our flight in Minneapolis and dive back into a week in which I did not have time to post this. Many congrats to E & E, my only disappointment is that I didn't get a chance to swing by an essential tourist destination....

Sandy Lee, Principal Recreation Supervisor, SF Recreation & Parks Department

Those of you who are readers of the Carrotmob blog may recall the drama I had with a certain representative of San Francisco city government back in March. At one point during that horrible process, while sitting and waiting and watching Sandy Lee fail to find the form I had just faxed her, I was inspired to snap a photo with my phone. I sort of felt bad right after I snapped it...sure it was a spectacle, but Sandy still seemed like a friendly person, and I wondered if I had violated her privacy in some way. I decided not to distribute the photo. Three months later I have been completely hung out to dry by this woman. It's not any action she has taken, but rather her inaction which is probably going to cost me another thousand dollars. So screw privacy. I proudly pay taxes that support the SF Recreation and Parks Dept, and my fellow citizens deserve to know that this money goes, in part, to creating this abomination of a so-called desk:

Somewhere hidden in this towering monument to failure is a piece of paper that may have prevented all of our problems, but Sandy Lee never found it and she never ever will. It's not personal. This is a civic matter. I merely offer this photo and my sad tale, and people can come to their own conclusions about the level of competence of our Principal Recreation Supervisor, Sandy Lee. I will explain my experience below the fold, and maybe someone somewhere will find $10 in the SF city budget to buy this woman a copy of GTD before one of Sandy's co-workers meets an untimely demise, smothered Jenga-style by an avalanche of unread faxes and tchotchkes.

Taibbi: The Great Derangement

I bought a book. It's been a long time since I read a book that wasn't directly related to Carrotmob, and I don't know when I will actually be able to read this book. Since it could take awhile, I thought I would go ahead an post a review, even though I haven't read it. I only bought it because Matt Taibbi wrote it. You know Matt Taibbi? You should. He is a political correspondent for Rolling Stone, a magazine to which I have a lifetime subscription. He is the rock and roll political journalist of our time. He has an acid tongue, and/or acid on his tongue. Both Barack Obama and John McCain would disapprove of the way he writes, the language he uses, the personal attacks he recklessly tosses around.... I wouldn't want to see it replace civil political discourse (if that even exists anymore), but I do know that I always laugh when I read anything Matt Taibbi writes. So there's my review, buy this book and let me know how it is.

For a taste of Taibbi's writing you can check out his most recent article, Full Metal McCain, or perhaps I would recommend his classic obituary for Boris Yeltsin. You can read an actual review of this book here.

nope

haha.

Michelle Obama, Whitey, Barack Hussein Muslim Koran Radical Madrassa

Pardon me, just thought I'd post some info about Michelle Obama Whitey, as well as my thoughts on Barack Obama's Muslim Madrassa Koran. If this seems like a curious move, more info here. While I'm on the topic, looks like the Willie Horton ad guy is back in the game and he's going to try to hit Obama on crime issues. Bring it Floyd. I guarantee it won't work this time. As I have explored elsewhere, the American people have changed their opinion on these issues since your heyday. The muslim stuff, the patriotism stuff...that could work. But the soft on crime stuff will only have a limited effect. We're not anywhere near having a criminal justice system that is sane, functional, efficient, effective, cost-effective, sensible or moral, but we're slowly heading that direction, and this particular tactic has been worn out. You've lost your mojo, Floyd. On the same topic, a big congrats to the NORA Campaign, which has qualified for California's November ballot. Look forward to me doing a lot more to support that, as well as fighting hard against the horrible "Safe Neighborhoods Act". In other news: My last Go Game went great! Noor had an awesome birthday tailgate at the A's vs Yankees game on Wednesday...it was fun, as expected, but it sort of exceeded everyone's expectations to become REALLY fun...weirdly fun...suspiciously fun...just a strangely blessed evening. Lots of Carrotmob stuff going on. Back to work...

Going, Going...

It's looking like this Thursday will probably be my last Go Game. I've been doing this since November 2005, and I love it. It has been "what I do" for a long time. I'm good at it, I'm confident that I always know how to do it, I have fun with it, and I have a posse of close friends that I have shared this life with. Not just co-workers. People I have shared a hundred hotel rooms with. Party friends I happen to work with. We are close like family. I've been part-time since January, and as my departure has been getting closer I have not been thinking about that departure, because it has been ranked as number 30 or so on my list of things to think about. I'm busy getting into new things, learning, starting back at the beginning of a new project, where I have to will the confidence into existence and I have very little experience under my belt. Today I spent my day on the Yahoo! campus, talking about lots of fun stuff with nice people, exploring, writing, and dreaming up ways to spread mystery and hilarity amongst more of this nation's cube dwellers. I'm doing a game for 200 people on Thursday and that's it. As I drove home in the Go-Game-Mobile this afternoon, this dawned on me, and the emotion became real. I am going to miss this a lot, and I needed to acknowledge that tonight.